Meeting The Family
by DarkDanny
Summary: Connection Series: Months before their wedding, John is finally convinced by Tali to meet his dad. Problem is, he was not at all what she was expecting.


**Yes.. another bloody one shot. This is actually a continuation of **_**A Promise To You**_**. Set 3 years after that one. I plan on making this a series of oneshots featuring a much more lighthearted Shepard, but it will be a Dramedy of sorts. Quite a few will be light, some won't be. Think of this series as in the same style of M*A*S*H. When it's funny, it's funny. When it's sad. You wanna shoot yourself it's so sad.  
**

**...**

* * *

**...**

"Keelah John, Fix your hair up, you're in need of a haircut!"

"It's not that long. I haven't had civilian issued haircut since I enlisted."

"I don't care, John. You're not going to embarrass me. I need this to be perfect! I get one chance at a good impression and I'm not going to make any mistakes."

John Shepard, galactic hero, rolled his eyes at the paranoid quarian princess.

"Tali, they're my parents. Not some magical off worldly beings."

Tali scowled at John for his utter casualness. It was not often that he was like this. Usually everything was almost military precision. Whereas when Tali got a surprising invite from John's mother to join them at the families estate. Estate seemed to be a dirty word for Shepard. As a navy brat, or spacer as Tali knew him better as, it was not often families like his ever got into enough money to buy high end property on the human homeworld, Earth.

Of course it would be expected now. With Hannah being an admiral and Eric Shepard, John's father, being important to the Alliance at first and then the galaxy at large for reasons Tali had never learned of exactly. Eric Shepard was a subject that John tended to leave alone. He apparently had more in common with his mother then him.

"My dad is... different." Shepard finally spoke, rubbing the back of his neck as he peered over Tali's shoulder. Tali turned to follow the gaze. He appeared to be looking at the house for any sigs of life; There were none. Shepard sighed and gestured for her to follow, which she happily did, her slender arm latched around his waist possessively.

While the future quarian wife was confused as to where her future human husband was taking her. She did not mind the mystery. Instead she focused on the world she now stood on. It was brighter then Rannoch. The soil squishing under her feet was soft, fertile like Rannoch. She also watched where she stepped. Bugs were an important part to the ecosystem on this small world. She would not be a strain on it by trampling the things that helped sustained the world's fragile life.

Shepard on the other hand, did not give a care. where he stepped, he trudged through the soft dirt like he owned the place. Tali sighed, it must have been a human thing she had been warned of. She smirked to herself. of course those legs of him, so straight and rigid gave him less mobility to be considerate of the life below them.

Speaking of John, he was looking more and more anxious, like he was worried something but not willing to admit his uncertainty. As they passed through a pair of evergreens as Shepard had called them, it became apparent where their destination was now towards.

There was a clearing in front of them. set in the middle of it was a pathway that led to a large building that looked like it was pushing past two hundred years old. Tali looked up to Shepard. He had frozen as he stared off at it. Gently she nudged him. It broke his fixation off the building and turned back to his future wife.

"He's not exactly a military type, my dad." Shepard explained as he led the quarian down to the separate building with slow steps. "He's an architect and fancies himself an artist nowadays."

Tali tilted her helmeted head, unknown to John, she bit her lip.

"He... draws?" She spoke up disbelievingly "That doesn't strike me as role of a Shepard... especially a patriarch."

Shepard laughed and quickly shook his head..

"He's not a patriarch, I have a load more family you'll meet. He paints, sketches, does architecture work for colony worlds that have grown past prefabricated buildings." He elaborated for her. He gave her a smile and gently, shoved her in place, listening delightfully at the stream of annoyed protests Tali muttered in Khellish.

"He's a massive pothead." He added more to himself than to her.

Tali looked again at him uncertainly. Pothead. What kind of euphemism was that for? Tali went through her internal dictionary of human sayings. None of it clicked to her. Tali closed her eyes and shook her head. Why couldn't humans speak plainly like quarians. It was cute and infuriating at the same time. They had an entire language developed that had no translations available for non humans, leaving people like her stumbling for a meaning.

"Pot...head?" She questioned him finally. John looked back and quirked his lips as though she was dumb not to know. Tali glared at him for the subtle movement.

"Come on," He said simply, opening the door and ushering her inside, "See for yourself."

...

* * *

...

Tali had to turn her olfactory filter off the moment she had entered the room. The smell and smoke haze over the two of them was thick and pungent. She could not accurately place the smell. Judging from John's deep inhalation, he was rather happy of it and at the same time grunted in disapproval.

She looked around at the interior of the aging structure. On every inch of wall were pictures, drafts, various notes and and actual paper bound books littered the tables next to massive scale models of constructions he was undertaking. Over them Tali could hear the recognizable sound of drums and alien instruments that John had a taste in listening to. Archaic music, but still nice in there own right.

As they entered the main room of this studio; Tali came to a sharp pause and widened her eyes. There he sat, Eric Shepard.

Tali glanced back to John. It was almost as if John and Eric had been brothers. John's father looked maybe 10 to fifteen years older at most. There were a few extra lines around his face but he still had a strange youth to him. His hair was an ashy brown streaked with only a faint noticing of Grey.

His hair. It was as long as a female. It would have put Miranda Lawson to shame. It was tied back into what John and other human's referred to as a 'ponytail'. His face was covered in facial hair. Thick and wild, Tali shuddered at it , she did not understand why human women and asari found so endearing about men looking like savages. he always tried to keep John well groomed. She had to, even if she found it nice. Anything that unessential and could make her sick had to be cut out for her sake.

Tali broke her thoughts as Shepard cleared his throat loudly, Causing the older man to turn his head sharply. For a fraction of a second he looked ready to fight, perhaps even kill them, but as that moment of worry went away, Eric softened his bloodshot eyes and gave a low rumbling laugh.

"John, it's been a while boy..." Eric spoke up, his voice was gravelly and strained, regardless it had a friendly tone to it that made Tali slightly jealous. Her father would probably have gave her a curt nod and went back to whatever project he had on his mind. That was if he was in a good mood.

Before John knew it, his father was out of his seat and wrapped around his son tightly. The son choked out a surprised yelp but returned the hug nonetheless. He looked up to Tali whose eyes were wide and her hands on her hips. She was quite obviously smiling at the family reunion.

"Hey dad," John said, letting his old man go and holding him at arm length, examining him closely. With a large grin he added. "you wouldn't happen to be a bit fried are you?"

Despite Eric's eyes were squinting and bloodshot as he stared at his boy he shook his head in denial. The younger Shepard laughed and shook his head in amusement and gestured Tali to come over to them. Tali was reluctant to do so. His father was stoned and mumbling to himself. It wasn't a good sight. Eric rubbed his eyes and looked up towards the apprehensive quarian.

There was a look of disbelief on the older man's lined face as he attempted to see through the mask concealing Tali's face from the world. Slowly, Eric turned his head back to his son and placed a finger to his lip, shushing his boy. He latched his arm onto John's and tugged him away for what he figured was a private conversation.

"She has bloody claws, hooly shit... Crazy man.." The artist told the Spectre as if it was a fact. John looked at his dad, his eyebrows raised at the information he was giving. Tali stiffened, now feeling rather defensive. As much as she wanted to be respectful, she didn't want to have to defend herself for not being human. From the corner of her eye she noticed that John seemed more amused then offended.

"Is that what gave her away as a quarian? What about her suit?" John asked his stoned father incredulously; Eric shrugged and ran a hand through his ashy graying hair. John sighed and pulled away from his father and over to Tali, who was focused intently on the architectural models. He latched his arm around her waist and brought her over to meet his dad face to face.

"Dad." John introduced, his voice's sincerity surprising both the father and the quarian. "this is the woman I love, Tali, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."

At the utterance of the word love, Eric allowed a confounded half smile for both his boy and the quarian he had fallen for. Slowly, Tali stepped forward and held out her hand to him.

"Hello, sir. It's an honor to meet you." Tali stated formally as Eric wearily took her hand, As quick as they griped, Eric grunted and let go of her hand. He looked up with blurred vision and crookedly smiled at his boy's future wife.

"Honor. schonor," The father said, waving his hand dismissively and, much to the quarian woman's shock. Eric wrapped his arms around the Quarian like he had to John. Tali froze up and tightened in the strange grip from the impaired older man. She turned her head over to look at John, who was attempting not to laugh.

"I'm not gonna remember all of that, Miss Zorah." Eric murmered letting go of her, and slumping down into his painters chair. "I'm just gonna call you future daughter and mother to grandchildren not born. That gonna be cool?"

Tali widened her eyes and sputtered in her native language, all the while turning to look at her fiance who was laughing at the situation brightly. Tali scowled at her captain, he was suppose to protect her from any embarrassment! Instead she was getting teased by Eric who was idly looking over his landscape scrutinously. The quarian turned her head and looked back over to the model and cocked her head to examine it closer whilst losing the color in her cheek.

"You like?"

She turned back to the gravelly voice. Eric was still intently running a dry paintbrush over the landscape. Shepard wandered over to Tali's side and glanced at the model intently. It was tall with a graceful organic look to it, with a lorolling dome serving as a roof. Tali smiled softly. From her ventures into the abandoned cities of Rannoch.

"Your Admiralty Board seeked me out recently," The father continued as he turned away from his painting. "Told me they were holding a contest for a contract to create a modern parliament building of some sort. This was my entry."

"I don't see what's wrong with the old one however, It's goddamn beautiful building." Eric, his tone was that of a grumble. "Tradition is not enough I suppose. Perhaps it reminded them of their ancestors gravest mistake."

Tali flinched at the opinion held by her future father-in-law. It was a view that most of the galaxy shared. It was a view quarians grudgingly denied as a whole but privately agreed with. The reminder of the guilt both her people and their creations mutually shared was still a fresh wound to many of her people.

"Keelah, this is such a beautiful design. I know they will love it." Tali whispered as she leaned down and nearly pressed her next to the model, doing her best to ignore the sleight.

"They also want me to spend a few months a year to train a first generation of quarian architects with a few others from other species at the Jeirva technical institute, outside C'athas and inspect the major structures around that barren little rock you two call home." He continued, slightly less enthused with his new positions than the prospects of building the new parliament.

"I suppose we'll need to get a spare room ready for you. After you clean yourself up." John spoke up, his arm wrapped around her waist. causing her to bounce slightly on her toes in a cross between excitement and worry. Eric barked a laugh at the sight of his son still able to startle his future wife and slumped back down. In his hands was a strange looking device. in his other a lighter. He brought the long barrel up to his lips and flickered the lighter over a small bowl packed with a green, dried out herb.

"Dad, is that really necessary?" John snapped out in his authoritarian tone. It was one that usually put the scare in people who. Eric merely coughed, smoke sputtering from his nose and mouth.

"Goddammit John," He cursed loudly, "You sound too much like your mother. You need to loosen up, Mister intergalactic hero. Mister "I can sleep with any women I look at but don't cause I wanna be tied down to a pretty little quarian thing."

Eric blinked twice and turned to face his future daughter-in-law.

"Hurm... No offense intended, Miss Zorah." He stated as quick as his intoxicated mind could relay.

Tali blinked as well.

"Of course, sir." Tali lightly replied as she nudged John hard in the chest, in a lower but still audible tone she added. _"It's now clear to me where you get your attitude towards me from."_

Eric nodded and took another drag as he witnessed his tightass son bellow out laugh which quickly became a mocking glared. before he could speak, his omni-tool beeped and flashed to life. John looked at it briefly and sighed.

"That's mom," He announced to the two of them. "I'll see where she's at. You two get along, okay?"

Tali nodded as she felt his arm tugged her closer, with no words, he kissed the side of her helmet. She nudged him again, much softer than before. Her mask dropped down and hit his chest as softly as she could. Reluctantly, She felt him let go of her. Tali looked up and watched as Shepard, the man of her dreams wander out of the room. She sighed and turned back to the artist who was standing up, the smoking device still in his hand.

"Here." Was all Eric said as he wandered to the refrigerator and tugged a small airtight canister. it was a thick brown liquid. Tali looked at it, her hidden expression formed a deep frown as she inspected it. It looked like liquid bacteria infection.

"I made you something to eat, Eating'll help relax you. It-it's a turian foyura." The elder Shepard stated, handing the canister over to the quarian while smiling slightly. "I-I think it's like there dextro version of a chocolate brownie thing. Suppose to be good. Made sure that it was decontaminated and everything."

Tali again stared at it, her head cocked as she wondered exactly what it was. The words 'Foyura' and 'chocolate' were not words she knew of. She looked back up and saw that Eric looked at her expectantly. She inwardly sighed. He had claimed it was clean and a warm feeling of acceptance came over her. Not often people would cook with her in mind.

"Thank you for thinking about me, I appreciate it." Tali said to the man, who was sitting back down in his seat. Quietly, she attached the canister to the masks nourishment receptors and, after a moments hesitation, she took a sip.

Tali reeled back in shock. it was wonderful. It was sweeter them she expected, it was one of the most wonderful things she had eaten in quite sometime. Her twenty four year diet of nutrient paste left her with a desire to try new and exotic dishes. It was a desire that John had to make her do, She was one not to waste money over things like flavored food when she could use the credits she saved for important things like ship parts, thermal clips and or others.

"This is delicious, much more than it looks." She said sincerely, smiling behind her mask to the older man. Eric looked up at her as he packed a new bowl for himself. He looked satisfied.

"Then my culinary arts abilities are not a complete failure like my old lady wants me to believe. Consider yourself in the clear to marry my boy." He announced brightly.

Together they shared a laugh and fell into a comfortable silence. in his free hand, the artist picked up his brush and went back to examining the portrait. Tali on the other hand, sat down in the chair in the corner of the room, happily she sipped the foyura paste. She looked around the art studio and smiled. It seemed so strange that this was the man who fathered one of the galaxies greatest warriors.

While Mister Shepard made it a funny observation, it really was true. John must have inherited more from his mother.

"So, you want to marry my son."

Tali looked up and found that Eric was looking at her inquisitively, his smoking device was set down and forgotten. Slowly, Tali nodded her head and smiled faintly to herself.

"Y-yes sir. I love him" She confessed softly; "I think that I have ever since I met him."

Eric maintained the watchful examination before nodding in understanding.

"Yes, Hannah told me the story about a dozen times," He informed her, catching the women off guard. "She's an old school romantic when she's off duty. Myself? I think you save him just as much as he did you, though."

Tali did a doubletake at the comment. Eric however, continued to look at her casually, until he glanced away and focused back on the landscape.

"My boy did things on Torfan that changed him." He stated as he softly brushstroked an evergreen, he looked up to the quarian, saying; "Between when it happened and when he met you, he was a miserable man. I like to think you were his reason for getting better."

Tali, in that moment thought of tearing her mask of so that she could show the look of sympathy on her face to him. That would have to wait. At least until she could remove her prison permanently. She watched as he shrugged. It was an unverbalized message of 'fuck it.'

"I don't judge him for what he did." He pointed out to her, "His mother on the other hand."

Eric sighed and pulled out the tie in his hair, letting it all fall out wildly. He messed it up, his expression was blank from the mixture of drugs in his system and memories of an unpleasant past.

Tali latched her hands together and lowered her head respectfully but decided not to voice an opinion. Torfan was not a topic people close to her captain would speak about. Shepard was a man of few regrets. But what he did there was one of those things what made the guilt flow. It did not help that Hannah Shepard had all but refused to speak about it in either John or hers presence. It was a source of tension between the two of them. Both agreed to not open old wounds.

Slowly, she closed her eyes as she felt a wave of sudden nausea come over. She shook her head and looked back up to Eric, he continued to pint as though they hadn't been speaking to one another.

"You protect him from himself." He added, setting his brush down and turned back towards Tali yet again. "I'm happy to see that love know no species."

Tali blinked furiously and nodded as she failed to formulate a grateful reply. Eric smiled but did not comment on her lack of words.

"So, if if this is you asking for permission to be John's bride, his everything, forget it."He simply dismissed, not playing mind to Tali wobbling her head in place. "I saw you at his funeral. I knew what he meant to you. I know what his second chance meant to you. You've got yourself a good man and he got himself a good woman."

Shepard paused and stared at the woman widely in uncertainly.

"You are a woman right?" He asked her pointedly, "I-I mean you got breasts obviously but.. but so do the asari, but they're monogendered."

Tali burst out laughing. at the remark. Somewhere in her rational mind, she should have been utterly offended at him questioning her gender, For some reason however she found it completely hysterical.

"DAD!"

Eric and Tali turned around quickly and found a tall woman standing in the doorway, her arms were crossed and her dark brown eyes were glaring at the male with fire in her eyes. Tali looked between them blankly, whatever Eric did, the tall athletic looking brunette was not looking impressed at him

"What, pumpkin?" Was Eric's innocent reply. The girl growled at him, instantly shutting him up. She turned to Tali and gave her a half smile.

"You must be Tali, right?" The woman inquired, Tali nodded her head her eyes starting widely, worried if she was going to be killed by the human female. The woman pointed to the two thirds empty canister.

"You didn't eat anything he made, did you?" She asked plainly. Tali stared at the container and then between Eric and the unidentified woman. Tali nodded her head weakly and stepped away, stumbling in place. She hit her back in the wall and giggled to herself.

"Umm, I'mma go see your mother... yeah, that'll work..." Eric responded, making an excuse as he edged out of the room. As he passed by the glaring daughter, he added "I'll see you in a bit, Tali."

"See you later, Sir!" Tali happily returned as the human fled the room. Tali giggled gain and turned away stumbling to what appeared to be a mirror.

"Oh god," The woman sighed out loudly as she stepped back towards Tali "Dad's primary ingredient for almost everything he cooks is hash oil. Apparently it helps to relax people."

The woman scoffed at the thought.

"More like make people paranoid... idiot." She added, clearly annoyed at the man.

Tali had no clue what hash oil was, it really did not matter to her at that moment. instead she stared into the mirror widely, She was suddenly and unexplainably frightened at what she saw staring back at her.

"Oh Keelah, why are my eyes glowing?" She mumbled, turning away. She clamped her eyes closed and ignored the barking laughter from the female in the room with her. Weakly she stumbled in place until she fell onto the floor with a thud, her head was spinning, making the poor quarian disorientated.

"Who...Who are you?" Tali cried out, slurring her words as she attempted to point to her. The woman smiled and placed her hand to her chest.

"I'm Sarah, John's little sister." She introduced kindly.

_Sarah... John's sister._ So much for a good first impression. she was 'stoned' off of the food made by her future father-in-law. This was exact;y what she didn't want! Faintly she could here the scampering of little feet running at a quick pace. She opened her eyes and found herself looking up at a small human. A... a child. She had long curly black hair and blue eyes almost as vivid as her John's, she looked at the quarian curiously. Tali smiled at her, not remembering that she was wearing a mask.

"This is Anna, my daughter, John's niece." Sarah's voice introduced. Slowly, Tali staggered herself back up, she heard a small yelp in worry and saw the girl fly back behind her mother and peak out from behind her leg.

"Hello." Tali murmered , hoping not to sound too sluggish. It was a complete and utter failure. To the mother and daughter, all they heard was a greeting in Khelish a language they had no clue of. Sarah leaned down into the child's ear and whispered resulting in a giggle.

"Hi." Anna said politely back to her, her small hands latched behind her back as she looked at Tali precociously. Sarah casually dropped her hand on her head and messed her hair up wildly, resulting in the little girl squealing in annoyance.

"Sweetie. Why don't you go and get your Uncle Johnny." The mother asked her child. "Tell him that Grampa cooked for Aunt Tali."

"Aunt..." Tali echoed blankly as the child fled the two of them. Sarah nodded and stepped cautiously towards the stoned quarian.

"Yeah. you're marrying my brother, so you're her aunt by default." She reminded Tali. She smiled at her and added, "You know, I heard a lot about you, judging from what I heard, you may be too good for that man."

From behind Tali's mask, her eyes went wide at the claim.

"Noooo no no no no no..." Tali wildly denied, shaking her head despite her vision now blurred and dancing "John is wonderful, I love him." She reaffirmed seriously. Sarah merely nodded to her in agreement and watched in mild amusement as Tali laid flat down on the floor to watch as the roof above her was spinning.

"Does Anna have a fa-father?"

Again, John's sister nodded, this time half heartedly. She shrugged as well as she took a seat next to Tali by sitting o her fathers chair..

"Yes, his name was Anton." She admitted to her future sister-in-law. "He got bored though and slept with someone else, so I kicked his ass out." She paid no mind to the head jerk in her direction as she added, "He's still around, but, Anna is much better without him around."

Tali looked away, adultery was unheard of by her people. Even before the suits made monogamy mandatory. Love was a treasured thing. A resource invaluable to the spirit of a healthy quarian. She herself watched as her father lost the last ounces of being father after the loss of Qualia'Zorah, her mother. Tali and Rael became acquaintance's at best.

"I.. I'm sorry." Tali managed to stutter out and confused the last of the intoxicated paste Eric had given her. She was, after all, not one to waste. Sarah snorted ad shoot her head s she watched the all ready stoned girl dig herself deeper.

"First time in twenty years I saw my dad mad." Sarah admitted to Tali as she puled the vial out of her receptor and dropped it to the floor; "Kicked his ass. Still, Anton wasn't all bad."

The human smiled to herself.

"I don't think I would ever regret meeting Anton solely because he gave me my little girl." She finished, rubbing her bangs out of her eyes.

Tali sighed thoughtfully. Her addled mind thought of children. She dreamed of carrying a child that was hers and John. The months they would spend together as they watched her stomach expand outwards thanks to the great love they shared. A child. An ultimate creation of a man and a woman's love, At least.. it would be for John and hers. If only they shared the same species.

"I want to have John's babies so bad. I dream about it all the time." She moaned softly, visions of pregnancy, birthing and raising a Bispecies baby with the man of her dreams was making her tear up. A dream that was impossible.

"You do?"

Rich, textured masculine voice. Commanding undertone. Tali froze, knowing full well who it belonged to.

Tali looked over, squinting hard to make out the misshapen figure. It was John, on his face was a crooked grin at the sight of Tali knocked flat on the floor. In one arm was little Anna who was laughing. Shepard set his niece down on the ground.

"Hey, Sarah." He greeted warmly, half hugging his little sister. He gestured to Tali and added. "Sources tell me that Tali ate dad's cooking."

Tali winged her fingers as she watched him fall down to his knees and gently lifted her up to rest her head against his chest. Again, Tali moaned as though Shepard had been stimulating the senses. She did not see, however, that Sarah's hand was clamped over her mouth trying not to laugh at the expense of her new future sister.

"John... John? I wanna have your babies, John. But... but I can't... Can't give you what you deserve." She whimpered sloppily, her bobbed lamely. From behind her opaque mask, she looked up at John, future husband and father of their adopted children bashfully. Shepard smiled as he shook his head in denial.

"You know it's not your fault." John assured her the best he could, "So come on, lets get you up and walking. Mom is here and the little brat here," He added, gesturing to the little girl, who giggled "Told me and Mom all about what Dad did. The Admiral nearly had a fit. She loves you almost more than me. A certain burnt out architect's head is going to fly."

As Sarah laughed in anticipation for what she was about to witness, John stood up, lifting Tali up with him. Tali closed her eyes. Little did she know that ten years down the line as Her and John raised a family to call their own. Tali would make a vow never ever to talk about the things she said or did in the following hours.

...

* * *

...

"Joohn. Can you get my medications. I want to have sex right now... Whatever that is in me right now is making me crazy and sex is gonna feel sooo good." Tali purred softly, her barely conscious mind gripping the man sitting next to her.

She did not notice, or care that there sitting in the living room, surrounded her in-laws. John groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose as a she tightly wrapped her arms around him and possessively gripped him. Admiral Hannah Shepard, Commanding officer of the 12th fleet on Citadel patrol duty barked out laughing at John's plight. A fried quarian was certainly a surprise to come home to.

Hannah looked over to her husband, whose face was damn near buried into a bag of Salt and Vinegar potato chips and trying not to look guilty for his future Daughter-in-law's current state. She shook her head and tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to jump in place and spit out a couple of curse words.

"Eric, how much did you give the poor girl?" She demanded to know as she let go of Eric and took a seat next to Tali.

Tali looked over, through an almost impenetrable looking mask, her bright eyes widened. Tali's arms wrapped around Hannah and held her tight. Hannah stiffened and looked at John. He appeared to be sighing in relief due to the quarian woman nearly choking the life out of him since the symptoms of becoming paranoid appeared ever present.

"Eric?" She called out once more and looked to find Eric still focused on his munchies. irritated at her burnt out ball and chain, she snapped her finger at him. He looked up fast, his eyes bloodshot and squinting, his beard and lips crusty from the chips.

Classy, real classy. He sure was a shining example of a first rate, galactic renown and respected architect married to a goddamn admiral.

Hannah's parents had warned her all about dating bad boys...

"So.. How was Citadel life, love?" He attempted to change the subject, smiling brightly at her as he licked his fingers clean. From the corner of her eye she saw her little girl sitting on the loveseat, snickering at the stupid response. Hannah gave Sarah a sharp look, causing her to stand up and flee the room.

"Don't give that diversion bullshit Erickson Jackson Shepard." Hannah snapped out ion a commanding demand.. "How much shit did you trick my future daughter into eating!"

Eric looked between his fuming wife and his son, too busy tending to his stoned quarian to look up to him. He merely shrugged at his old woman.

"Jesus I dunno." He mumbled to himself, "Not too much."

"How fucking much, you goddamn burn out!" Hannah snapped, throwing his officers cap at him. Eric shot out a protesting yell but, he caught the hat and brushed it off. Idly, he put it on his head and leaned back into his seat. He looked at her and shrugged.

"Ten milliliters, the usual amount." Was his calm laid back reply.

Hannah stared him down. It was bullshit. Everyone but Tali knew it. The glare was an unmistakable one. It's message was clear. Last warning, or he was going to find his ass booted out of his own home.

"But... the I did some research," He hastily continued, gesturing to Tali. "Said Quarians resist pain medication. So... I added another eighty."

Admiral Shepard blinked.

"Nine tablespoons of hash oil." She whispered blankly to her husband.

John rubbed his eyes. The bloodbath was about to begin and all his father could do was smile.

"I had a small touch of grounded mushrooms..." Eric added as he rested his head. "not enough for reaction as a dextro or hallucination's. Just for a taste, yeah know?"

Before Eric knew it, the smaller woman flew at him, She landed in his lap and yanked his head up by his neck. With her other hand, she flung it behind her head and full out slapped the hell out of her husband for his head flew to the side and with all his strength, he pushed the Admiral off of him.

"You IDIOT." She screamed at him, standing up from the floor. "That's not a goddamn pain meds. Those are fucking hallucinogenics!"

Tali burst out laughing as she turned around to try to watch what was happening her future in-laws. She had never before found anything as funny as this confrontation. With hazy eyes her looked up to her John and smiled at the sight of him staring sternly at his childish parents.

"Don't shout at me, I fucked up. I get it, miss holier than thou "I'm a big shot Admiral, but in my spare time I'm a stoner!" Eric roared back at his wife, rubbing his bruising cheek tenderly. Hannah glared at him and looked ready to snap back, until John stepped in.

"Both of you, shut up!" Shepard barked as his parents. Forcing them to turn and look at their son. Both of them were furious at being cut off. Tali looked back and forth as the silence loomed between the warring factions. She attempted to choke back a giggle but failed as she pulled herself up to lean close to the enraged human she loved.

"Everyone is shouting." Tali attempted to whisper to her future husband, not knowing that it was loud enough to be heard all throughout the room. "John, you should shout. It's-"

"Fun, yes I know." Shepard cut her off tersely.

Tali took her head wildly, the room spinning around her.

"Nooooo Not fun..." Tali said still in a whispering shout to him. "It makes me hot and flustered I think the saying goes?"

The room burst into laughter. Eric and Hannah ignored their fight as they doubled over into laughter at the expense of their son. Tali looked at them all confused, nonetheless, she to joined in.

"Hot and bothered?" She heard the voice of John's sister, Sarah say as she entered the room, little Anna steps behind her and some sort of tray of human cuisine on a plate, some sort of bread and dip. Tali stared at it blankly, drooling nearly. It looked very good at the moment. Too bad she couldn't touch the stuff yet.

"Exactly..." She murmered distantly in agreement. To her surprise, John's lips touched against the top of her mask.

"I'm going to call Doctor Solus to get some advice to sober her." John said, standing up and allowing Hannah to cling onto the Quarian. With a pointed look at his father, he added "Try not to make her ingest any more drugs."

Grazing her mask, John smiled at her reassuringly and left the room swiftly, leaving Tali in the arms of a mothering admiral. Tali rolled over, pressing her faceplate into Hannah's breasts and held her tightly as though Hannah was her mother. The female smiled gently before looking up and meeting the eyes of her husband. The smile disappeared, taking it's place was a look of disgust.

"Are you sure you didn't add an aphrodisiac to the mix?" Shepard shot out snobbishly at him. "Maybe taste of GHB or a little sprinkle of red sand perhaps?"

Hannah dropped her head back down to her Daughter-in-law and cooed to her in slightly broken Kellish. She had taking up the task to learn the language for her future role on Rannoch, Training Quarian officers. Professionally it would help get to know her future students and privately to get to know Tali better. Tali looked up to the mothering admiral with wide eyes before burying her face yet again. Unbeknown to them. Eric was fuming at the comment made.

"I'm into all natural products, Narc." Eric shouted down the Admiral menacingly, "Not fucking chemicalized date rape drugs. How dare yo-"

"No, how _dare_ you." Hannah shot back at her husband; "She bends over backwards go make everything today go smoothly in hopes of gaining some sort of actual family and all she gets in return in some strung out Ex Marine, who obviously can't deal with his past. Fucking up your first impression with the sweetest girl John has ever brought home. sweetest girl I ever have a chance to have in my family."

"HEY!"

Hannah didn't even need to look to know that her daughter was standing there, arms crossed and glaring at the back of the admirals head.

"You're not fooling anyone, sweetheart," The woman cut across the protest, "Not when you broke your swim instructors leg for offering you a life jacket. At age eight."

Sarah glared at her mother, but eventually, she nodded in grudging agreement.

"Yeah..." She said slowly, she glanced down t her child and added. "But what abou-"

"Anna?" Hannah cut off letting Tali sit up by herself. She gave a sharp incredulous laugh at the thought of her granddaughter being an angel. "Remember when she set a fire in the kitchen? We had to pay fifteen grand to fix it back up!"

Tali attempted to chuckle at the thought of such a little doing that much damage but failed. Her throat was dried her blurred, her vision doubled and spinning. She rolled her head around and with a great thud, bounced her head on the table in front of her, causing Hannah to gasp and pulled back, her hands gripping her chest in shock.

Eric, the sole reason Tali was now unconscious seemed utterly unfazed.

"Anna was cooking me some eggs." Eric grumbled as he grabbed the front of Tali's mask and rose it up from the tabletop she had thudded her head against. Carefully she leaned the unconscious quarian against Hannah who yet again cradled her defensively.

"No, she said she was bored and she was goddamn four!" Hannah pointed out, still visibly upset that no one in her family seemed to mind that Eric completely screwed everything up for her!

"I finally have someone in this house that I can connect. with." Hannah grumbled to herself, lowly. "Loyal, hard working, dedicated and knows about duty."

"I suppose I've stopped being that?"

Hannah turned back. John stood there. His arms crossed as he looked over his unconscious future wife. Regardless the mother was not at all fazed at the observation. Instead, she remained definite.

"Last time I checked, you didn't have a vagina and a sensitive side."

John groaned and did his best to ignore the laughter from his mother. sister and father. He pulled Tali up into his arms bridal style and carried her to their room, He really should have invited the lot over to their place instead.

...

* * *

...

Bright eyes flew wide open. They were unobstructed by the mask she was raised to wear. Tali's body flew up wide awake, earning a surprised grunt and stream of swear words from a familiar voice. She looks over and and exhaled as she looked down into the shaded expressionless face of her future husband.

"Hey." Was his simple greeting. Tali smiled weakly and looked around blinking furiously. She had a momentary jump in panic. Gone was her face mask. She was exposed to a foreign environment. She may have had a steadily stronger immune system, but but it did not relieve a 25 year fear of life outside her suit.

"What time is it? Why is my mask off?" She asked curiously as she sat up. She breathed shakily as she felt calloused hands stroke her cheek. Shepard grunted softly, his smile the dark never leaving him.

"Early morning, and you promised Doctor Solus and I that you would help strengthen your immune system in a real world environment while taking your injections." He reminded her and smiled at the dawning of realization on her expression. With a small peck on her forehead he added. "Go back to bed, I'll help you sleep it off."

The request was denied. Slowly she sat up and pulled the sheets and blankets from off of her curvy body.

"No.. No, I think I need to get up, walk around..." She denied. She frowned and paused, adding, "Do you believe that am I allowed ?"

Much to her annoyance, Shepard laughed at her.

"You do realize that homes aren't exactly areas of marshal law. Especially a home that you share with your family." He again reminded her tenderly. Tali looked slightly relieved at first but quickly, She still looked hesitant to explore on her own. With a roll of his eyes, John shooed the quarian from their shared bed.

Tali smiled briefly and ran her hands though her thick, braidlike hair and departed from the room. John smiled and laid back properly. He needed some real damn sleep.

...

* * *

...

The house was magnificent, If John and her could find a house as beautiful on Rannoch, then they would be set for life.

Though, as nice as a vintage home would be, it would not be the same as th two of them, buying land and building the house together as they promised each other years prior. It would be a promise fulfilled to a long dead father. A promise that John planned to he made a promise, he kept it. Shepard was stubborn like that. That was the kind of man he was.

Tali stepped into the kitchen and turned around sharply. There was the sound of two people giggling to themselves like they were sharing a private joke with each other.

Slowly, Tali followed the noise, her feet bouncing as she attempted to follow the noise without disturbing them. As she wandered through the hallway and towards the front door, the noise only got louder and louder. The front door was left open.

Tali opened her mouth slightly. It was Hannah and Eric Shepard sitting together on the veranda. Hannah sat there on his lap, her face bright as she passed Eric back his bong and blew a long exhaling of smoke from her lungs and into Eric's face.

"Sir.. ma'am..." Tali spoke up in a respectful, soft spoken voice.

Hannah and Eric looked up, their eyes wide in obvious shock of a Quarian exposed to the world.

"Ho-holy Christ. Them bright eyes. don'tcha need your mask on?" Eric asked blurringly, setting down his bong and bobbling his head to the side lazily. Tali shook her head and stepped forward into the light so that, at long last, her future parents could take a look at the woman their son was to marry.

"No.. I took my immuno-injections, I'm trying to create a strong immune system. In order to do so, I need real exposure to different enviroments." Tali denied as she stepped down onto the porch stairs. "I have no desire to be in this suit for any longer then I have to be,"

Hannah nodded and smiled brightly at her.

"Tali, the face matches the voice and deeds. I hope you're feeling well." The admiral whispered up to the girl. Tali blushed at the comment and shrugged casually. Hannah chuckled lowly at the modest reaction from the quarian woman.

Eric snorted and punched his wife's shoulder.

_"Raging bisexual.."_ He grumbled, earning a protesting huff and a slap on his chest. The architect yelped and shook the admiral off his lap.

"Um, I'm fine." Tali said, breaking through the play fighting. She took a step backwards and added, "I could leave you two alone. I mean if you want."

"No it's fine come on over and sit down will you?" Hannah requested from her future daughter in law. "Eric was babbling on about his work. I may be an admiral, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to dull conversation during my downtime."

Tali couldn't help it. She giggled at John's father's expense, causing stream of inaudible swear words leave his mouth. Hannah too laughed and then slugged his shoulder, grabbing his pipe up and repacked the bowl.

"Eric here has something to say to you." She sing songed as she pressed her lips to the bong, Her hands flickering with a lighter.

Ahhh...ya... yeah." Eric started, watching his wife light up briefly before turning to the quarian. "Tali, I'm sorry about the whole feeding you my cooking... If I had known you were such a lightweight-"

Hannah sputtered on the smoke, coughing and laughing violently.

"Eric!" She all but screamed at him. Eric looked at Tali sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. It was clear that Eric did not want to annoy his wife anymore than he already had.

"What I mean is that I should probably should have considered that you weren't exactly up to getting massively stoned without any prior warning." He cleared up for everyone surrounding him. With a sincere look of asking forgiveness, he added. "I'm sorry, Tali."

Tali looked at him briefly. There was no point to hold any ager towards her new family. She would allow it to slide.

"It's... fine." Tali returned, uncertainly "I think I was rather scared of it. But, I survived. I forgive you."

Eric nodded and looked over to his wife. Hannah smiled at him and together the three of them sat together in quiet contemplation. Every so often, Tali looked up to meet Hannah's gaze. It was like she wanted to say something but was not sure where to begin. Eric on the other hand was playing with his smoking device and bouncing a bag of pot while humming some sort of aimless tune. At least he was until Hannah cleared her throat.

"So Sarah told me you want to have babies with him. But you want them to be his alone." Hannah spoke softly, attempting to go about the children issue carefully. Managing to hide the blush from the intimate secretly shared in her state, she shrugged casually.

"I suppose." Tali agreed with her in-law. "It's a pipe dream at best. John says that he has talked to a few in the field. The whole galaxy savior role might be good for something. But I don't want my hopes up." She added, sounding lame. "Adoption is the only option."

"But John has done the impossible." Hannah needlessly reminded the quarian, "He stopped the Reaper extinction cycle, brokered a real peace between the geth and my people, Got Rannoch back in quarian hands. If anyone could make the impossible possible it would be him."

"Well he has pretty good motivation, don't you think?" Eric added in, sparking the bong and taking a long inhale. He looked up and offered it to the Quarian, who shook her head.

"So... any future plans." Eric asked his future daughter as he passed the device to the Admiral.

"A home. I hope." Tali admitted softly, "Ships have been my whole life. I would like something different. Honor my parents wishes for me to live on the homeworld."

Eric stood up suddenly, surprising both of the women. He attempted to mumble something but it was completely unintelligible. He stumbled down the stairs and ran off into the woods. The women looked at each other oddly. Hannah looked down and sniffed the the bong carefully.

"Where is he going?" The quarian asked, her voice amused as she saw Eric stumble briefly.

"No damn clue, Tali" Hannah shrugged mildly, leaning back against the railing and watched as her husband run off into the night. "He probably went of to swallow a couple of hallucinogenic mushrooms and dance naked with the moon."

Tali chuckled and shortly after, the admiral joined in as well for a laugh again at the expense of her future father-in-law. It felt good to be able to do this, to laugh at others who would be considered family in a few short months. She could never be able to do this in a quarian family. Respect for family was one of the few things that held the fleet together, and now, the newly growing presence on the homeworld. Humans appeared to be more sardonic about family relationships, it was quite amusing.

"It's funny until he actually does it. The man has no rhythm." The Admiral tacked on, shaking her head. Tali laughed and nodded her head.

"Neither does John," She informed Hannah brightly, "I feel so bad when I catch him dancing."

"Heh, Well, you'll have to get him some lessons," John's mother returned, mildly smirking at statement. "I'm sure it would be nice to dance after your ceremony."

Tali nodded in agreement. John and her, well, mostly her and Kasumi were attempting to figure out how to created a combination of for both quarian and human marriage rites. One was cost efficient but long and tedious, the other? Expensive beyond her imagination and fun, where usually the married couple got drunk. Still, she wanted to make a balance. This was their day, not just hers.

There was a sudden and loud grumbling of the words 'Shit', 'fuck' and 'Dammit', causing both Hannah and Tali to look away from each other. Eric had reappeared from the woods, his legs covered in mud, in his hands was a large flat object. It was a canvas from his art studio.

"Eric, what the hell are you up to?" Hannah sighed as Eric shoved the Admiral out of his way and sat in between her and Tali. Tali tilted her head as se watched the elder man set a canister in between his legs and set the covered canvas onto his lap.

"I have something to show you Tali." He said, carefully unwrapping the sheet off of the canvas carefully. "It's not done and I was hoping to make this a housewarming gift for you two."

Gently, the man handed it over to Tali, who accepted it. Silently, her eyes scanned over the painting, it was only half completed but.. it was beautiful. It was Rannoch, the sky bright, hopeful. There in the background were three quarians, two of them were building what looked like the frame of a home. But that was not what impressed her. The suits they wore, familiar markings, markings that belonged to her father and mother.

Tali bit her lip in attempt to not tear up, but still, she unsteadily exhaled. There in the painting, she sat, she could not have been more then twelve years old, her first years in her suit. She was sitting there, just watching her mother and father build her the life they promised her. A promise survived long enough to give her.

Slowly, her eyes fell to the foreground. There sitting together in an embrace, watching her past was her and John, now grown up. Her past and their future intertwined in a single captivating painting.

"Yeah, I had a conversation with Shala'Raan about your family when her lot invited me to teach." Eric explained to a silently thoughtful looking quarian. "I thought. you know..."

Still Tali hadn't said nothing, her focus was still devoted on the image, her bright eyes were hooded and watery as she attempted to control herself. Eric glanced up and over to Hannah who was smiling faintly at her husband. She seemed genuinely surprised at his gift.

"Well.. it's not done yet," Eric mumbled,doing his best to break the silence and judge whether or not the quarian woman would accept the gift. "I mean, still have quite a bit to d-"

Tali looked up. As if the painting had been made of delicate glass she slid it over to Hannah and wrapped her arms around Eric's back. The man widened his eyes, surprised at the amount of grip Tali could produce, but he slumped and returned the embrace of his future daughter.

"Thank you." Tali murmered, attempting to retain control of herself in front of John's parents. Disregarding everything John had done for her. This was the nicest gift she had ever received from anybody she knew.

There was a sudden laugh. They both looked up an let go of each other. It was Hannah, her eyes were focused on the half completed paining.

"Eric Shepard, I didn't think you were a sentimental man." She stated looking up to catch Eric going red from apparent embarrassment. Tali dried her eyes and giggled softly.

The elder Shepard reached between his legs and grabbed the canister between his legs and offered it to Tali with a mild grin. Tali blanched. Oh Keelah, she knew exactly what this was. More of Eric's home cooking.

"Here you go Tali, I have more of this if you want." Eric offered, the canister still in his hands. Hannah looked between them and rolled her eyes. She was about to grab it from Eric when suddenly, a quarian hand took it before her.

"Actually, I think I could have some more of this." Tali agreed slowly as she examined the content carefully, she looked up and smiled as she added. "It might be the best way to get to know my future in-laws."

Eric laughed as he watched Tali open the canister up and take a careful swig of it. Tali would become a damn good Shepard.

**...**

* * *

**...**

**In my last one shot, a question was raised about why Shepard had spared the Collector base. Well, like questions about Eric, they will be addressed in a one shot of their own. They're little hooks, incentives to stick around and read what I have next in store Also, my oneshots can jump back and forth but important things will be kept off until later.**

**I wrote Eric like this because in my other fictions, he's usually military brass. I wanted something different this time. hope it was okay. Imagine Eric Shepard as a combination of Hunter S Thompson and Jeff Bridges.  
**

**Next One Shot: Happy Birthday Tali!: Shepard finds that gift shopping for a quarian like Tali is hard work. But sometimes, the best gifts are the ones you don't have to pay for. Gifts that'll change lives forever.**


End file.
